On top of the world

This was written during my third semester

Since past two days,i had burdened myself with a lot of work though it wasn't actually required.I had been really feeling sad since past two days and it so happens with me that everytime i am depressed i tend to become a workaholic to mask my sorrows.It was sunday morning and i woke up early because inspite of trying hard,i couldn't sleep.I suddenly felt like going to the sportsground for jogging.The next moment i was taking rounds of sports ground and to my surprise i had taken 3 rounds continuously.It was too much for me and i was already out of my breadth and was sweating badly.I came back to my room and after having a bath sat down in the lobby to read a book.It was actually a short story where people had described very short and interesting incidents of their life.

I was getting more and more involved in reading when i suddenly felt the morning air blew on my face.I was suddenly feeling so good from inside,felt like capturing the whole world at that point of time.I just closed my eyes and i could imagine myself standing at the mountain
top shouting at the top of my voice"I am shruti and i am the best".I didn't want this feeling to stop.Suddenly i wanted to do so much more in life ,suddenly i felt so enthusiastic about everything around me.Suddenly i felt that so much of love and energy was hidden inside me.It was me,me and only me just like a free bird.I don't know but that feeling made me come so alive.

I wondered why don't i feel the same everyday.It was one of the best feelings i'd ever had.How often in life do you feel so free,just you and yourself.Everything seemed so exciting and full of potential.I came back to the room feeling so good.

I decided to go for jogging everyday but that was just a momentary decision taken out of enthusiasm.C'mon sports,jogging,meditation........its just not in me.

someone in my dreams:)

People please don't laugh reading this one.I wasn't serious while writing this.I was just in a mood and i myself didn't know that it would turn out into a poetry

someone in my dreams i see
simple,sober so very caring he would be.
someone who wud get me away frm this big,fast world around,
somewhere where only love and peace surrounds.

someone who wud hold every drop of my tear in his palms,
someone with whom u forget all ur pain, just being in his arms.
someone who would make me feel special like noone else would do,
someone for whom i would feel like sacrificing everything to.

someone who would read my eyes before words could say.
someone with whom life looks beautiful with every passing day.
someone who would be there in all my thoughts
someone life can't be imagined without.

I know that life is not a dream,
Not all dreams do always come true.
Still my heart so firmly believes,
someone somewhere is also made for u.

Why can't you only be a friend?

They were the best of friends,
Best buddies since school days.
Blessed she was to have a friend like him,
Is what everybody who saw her said.

They teased each other,
Pulled each others legs and fought like kids.
But still so much he cared for her,
Wud never see a tear flow down her eye lid.

Time passed quickly,
And soon they parted ways.
Still they always stayed in touch with each other,
As if it was just another day.

One day as they talked,
He said something which she couldn't believe.
Her friends always said that he would someday say it to her,
but she was like"What crap,how could it ever be?".

"you were more than a friend to me,
May be you never knew,
Would always care for you throughout my life,
More than anybody else would do.."

As she went on hearing him,
She didn't know what to say.
Not that she didn't feel for him,
But it wasn't that way.

Seeing her silent ,
He knew what her reply was.
Could never see her hurt,so foolishly tried changing the topic,
Thats like he always was.

Bravely hiding his feelings,he said
"Never mind,forget it, it was just another joke"
Whom was he trying to fool to ,
She knew that his heart was broke.

Saying 'yes' to him at this stage,
Would be like lying to him.
For she herself wasn't sure,
Was he the person she always dreamt to be with.

She kept thinking the whole night,
Was it the correct thing to do.
she knew he loved her more than life,
she wished he could only do it as good as a friend does.......

For my old pals !!!

"Baatein bhool jaati hain,yaadein yaad aati hain".We move on in life but good friends always stay in your memory and are remembered.This poem of mine is dedicated to few of my best friends in dps with whom i had spent two of the most memorable years of my school life.

As i sat alone one night,
Talking to the stars that shone so bright.
Once again my thoughts wandered around,
Asking me questions to which no answers were found!!!!

I wondered what life had been for the past few years,
Love,laughter,pain and so much tears .
Emotions like never before filled my heart,
Was it that living life was all about????

It was so much pain when i saw my parents leave,
Later,it was those friends who taught me believe
I cried,i cribbed,i failed but i learnt to live on my own,
How can i ever forget all the love n care they've shown.

Now,they're gone and only memories are left behind,
I look at my old photographs,
Catching the times no more to find
Well ,nothing has changed except that i've grown,

That is what life is,all about moving on and on.................

My family

Born and brought up in a big joint family,i've always been surrounded by people. My mom and dad are the eldest in my family.Its never been only my parents for me,its always been my two uncle,aunt and all my cousins as a whole because i'm equally attached to all of them.I am the second eldest in my family.We are six sisters and three brothers and few of us have now started studying outside .Though i had lots of friends in school but as such i never felt the need of going out of home to enjoy because we were always enough to enjoy and play with each other.

I've generally seen people having a lot of prejudices about joint families because not many joint families are to be seen these days.I don't say that joint families are the best but yes,if the relations are based on trust and mutual understanding amongst all members of the family,there is lot more fun and excitement living in a joint family than a nuclear one.Each and every occasion from anybody's b'day to anniversary to raksha bandhan to diwali is celebrated as if it was a big function in my house.The best part is that at difficult times,you never feel alone because there are so many people always standing beside you.

Joint families has its own advantages and disadvantages.To talk of benefits,you learn a lot.You learn to be more patient,sharing,sacrificing and to talk of the disadvantages you are not enough independent.Manier times,there are situations when you have to lose your indivisuality.Each decision in the family is to have the consent of all the members of the family which may go against your wishes.There are certain disciplines and restrictions which everyone has to follow.
Its no way easy running a joint family.Every person is equally important and to respect the feelings,needs and concerns of everyone keeping all the constraints in mind is a task not easy to handle and i just wonder the ease with which my dad manages it all but then equally important is for everyone to have faith and respect in the decisions of the eldest in the family.Since there are lots of people,there are sure to be differences of opinions but then respecting the opinions of all and even then coming out with a solution is the trick to living in a joint family.

Since my childhood i've seen my parents tied with lots of family responsibilities.to the times when they were struggling very hard in their lives to get our future secure to the time when they are amongst the best businesspersons in town.I feel my life has been so easy compared to them.At times, i feel i have got more independence than i ever deserved. I still feel ,that i can never match to the human beings they have been in their life.

My winter vacations!!!

I wrote this when it was just few days left for me to leave home after staying about a month at home.

My winter vacations are going on right now.Just a few days and then i'll again have to go back to college.I don't have anything to do as such at home and just the feeling that i'm useless makes me feel like going back to college otherwise if you really ask me,i'm not feeling like coming back to college again.I know once i'll be back to college,i'll again get tuned into the college life style,friends and all but right now just the feeling of collecting my stuffs back again and packing my bags is sending shivers through my body.

You feel so secure and important when you are at home.I don't need to take care of myself because i know there are my parents ,my siblings to take care of all my needs.Most of my time is spent sitting on the kitchen table where my mom is cooking and i keep bugging her with all my nonsense college stories which i know,she is least interested to hear but even then i'll non-stop go on speaking.I love wearing my elder sister's clothes even though in return i know i'll have to bear with her anger.I love to teach and play with my younger brother and sister till the time they are bored of studying with me.And then at night when my dad is bak home,its talking and watching news(which i hav to anyhow bear)with him.My dad,he still keeps wondering how do i manage to live independently in hostel because usually i'm least bothered about myself,my clothes,my health,my diet...But its like its different at home.I love to be scolded by them coz i know they are my own.I know even if i'm the baddest person on this earth,they'll still love me.I know there are people who are more bothered about me than i'm about my own self.

I know there is a lot i've to learn in life,face the world,be independent,go through ups and downs but at this point of time if you ask i still just want to be with my family.But time has and will never wait for anyone.

And again there's my mom calling me for dinner.She just cannot think of anything else than food.
Putting my pen down and closing my diary,my eyes again well up with tears.

Just a start

Writing is something which i had been doing since my hostel days in high school.I did start blogging in 2nd semester but then couldn't continue since i lost the feel for writing.What i feel is that one cannot start writing just because one has to write.The feeling to express your opinions and views has to come very strongly from within you.One is best at writing when you have some kind of inspiration in your life.It might be anything ,books that you read which gradually helps you develop your perspective about life,kind of music that you hear or a very important person in your life, but expressing yourself in your personal journal is very different from expressing yourself here in public.You pour your heart out in your personal diary but in a public blog,you have to keep certain considerations in your mind because you are at the risk of exposing your true self before people.

I don't know about others, but how i generally write is when i lie down on my bed, close my eyes and there are streams of thoughts running in mind and i feel like capturing all my thoughts and emotions,its then that i open my diary and just go on writing in one go without even realizing the number of pages i have filled.Here in this blog,i'll generally write about very small and general experiences from my daily life which might sound very obvious while reading.So,someone who is looking for too much of a matter might be disappointed.

With this, i start my first blog with the hope that i'll keep updating it regularly and an earnest request to anyone who spends their precious time reading my stuff "people,please drop down a comment if you feel like".Any suggestions,opinions(good or bad) will be equally acknowledged,
and might boost my confidence to write better next time.One thing that we all are here to learn is to respect differences of opinion.

But tell you from my personal experiences that writing is the best way of staying in touch with your real self.